Sigh... well... I'm going to do a little bit of a "darker" post, so to speak, simply because my own mood dictates I must do so.

I guess I'll just start out with the bright side of things. (Good news bad news type thing and I'm taking good news first this time) I am a slightly... brighter? person these days. It is slightly forced... but I suppose it's all good as long as it happens? I don't know... take it for what it is, and it ain't you, it's me (LOL that last part didn't really fit but being as how I this blog does allow my "thoughts to run free", I'm not deleting it). Anyways... on to the bad part I guess. The thing that is annoying me currently is life in general. The main thing has to be that life just seems to be problems compounded by worse problems. Yes, I'm aware that that's life for everyone. But that doesn't mean that I can't be annoyed over it right? And even if my problems are minor compared to others, I think I'm still allowed a little annoyance right?... Well this isn't a argument over who has it worse and who doesn't. It's just the deal with my life and how I'm dealing with it (Sorry for the poor wording, I honestly couldn't think of better). And some people would say that the annoyances make the good things in life better, but... what exactly are those good things for me I wonder? Is it just playing games and forgetting reality? Is it hanging out with people ever so rarely? I mean... besides those two happening on the more frequent side (and I'm using that term frequent in a relativity stance, meaning since nothing happens in my life frequent isn't really frequent for a lot of people), I can't really think of anything else I would consider "good" happening to me (Yeah, I'm aware that's a dark viewpoint since life is supposed to be good right? But I did warn that my mindset is "darker" and "bleaker" than usual). I guess the root of my problems lies in the general directionless path my life is on. All of these things come up, and there isn't really anything I can say that I want to do about it, and then more things come up, etc etc etc and then in the end I have no answers to a million questions. These questions become really problematic and this my annoyance at life.

Just a little rant here about annoyances of life. I really am in one of those phases where I get annoyed really easily at almost everything (Yeah you can make all the jokes you want regarding what I just said. My mom has said that I have thick skin so... in the end it probably won't mean anything to me that you said anything about me). By the way, since I'm an honest person for whatever reason, I might as well say that I was about to post something here completely different but I realized I couldn't since... well... I would probably need some permissions in order to do so and I don't really want to get them so... time to bury another problem just to have it resurface later. Yeah... I'm not the type to rile up other people or make my intentions known, so... I couldn't say it. But honestly... as I'm typing this I just got annoyed by something so... add this to the list of things that annoy me slightly.

Sigh this post is hard... I'm not the type to reveal my inner thought processes so... I'm holding back quite a bit of what I really want to say. Which is one of those things which makes me thing that life is just annoying. The fact that I actually have to hold stuff back because it's the polite thing to do. Holding back really creates a ton of problems... but how many people can be brutally honest to everyone? I can honestly say that I can't, not even to those I consider myself closest to. Gah... Well... anyways.. I figure a way to solve my problems is just to take it upon myself to do more... (such a man answer, instead of going to others for help just do it yourself, but that's what I'll usually gravitate to). And perhaps not getting annoyed at everything wouldn't hurt..... Who knows?

OK eff this I'm not going to say anymore. I can't even follow my own train of thought throughout this post. There was a lot more I thought I could say but... bah it's getting too hard keeping track so... resuming "Mr. Brightside" style of thinking. This means that I will indeed be going on with my usual life with the same usual smile I have (By the way... just as another aside, I never really liked the way I looked... Don't know why, just if I had to list preferences for looks I wouldn't be thinking of my face LOLLOL. But that last statement was a serious one).

P.S. Heard some Nickleback today. Song called "Photograph". That song makes me wonder how I'll feel in 10-20 years when I look back at all of the pictures I'm in. I do like the new phone I have now by the way (about 1 month new). It really has many features. But if I had to go back to my old phone, I'm not sure I would mind it too much. God... my mind really isn't working well right now... I'm going to call it quits for this post. Thanks for reading (those of you who actually managed to read every single word in this post), or thanks for skimming (those of you who saw how long it was and just gave up, my personal favorite btw). Yeah... until next time. Later.