Sigh... I guess another rehashing of what is turning out to be one of the most boring lives on this planet is in store today.

Did my laundry with a machine for the first time this past weekend (No I never used a washing machine before. If you have a problem with that take it up with my parents for always doing it for me. But to my credit I have hand washed my clothes before... an experience I would not want to repeat in this lifetime...). I guess that basically the only thing left for me is to get some sort of financial stability. I swear that as soon as I get that I am going to start living alone. Yeah... most of my dreams have basically died at this point... I don't even really care what type of job I get... As long as it provides enough for me to live on, I'll be willing to move out. That's probably one of my few remaining dreams... to live alone. I really don't know what else I really hope for or dream for or any of that stuff...

What else? I only listed one thing in a span of close to three days (unless my faulty memory made a mistake). I guess I cleaned the restroom??? I don't really consider that anything since cleaning is all about getting up and doing it. I'm still cooking a decent number of meals. All of my ideals for cooking revolve around "do I think it tastes good?". If the answer to that is yes, then at that point I couldn't care less what other people think. After all, the chances I have to cook for other people are limited, and the chances that I'll cook for someone I care about is incredibly small.

Yeah... from that last sentence this thought popped into my head. These days, I'm going by the "all for one" thing while ignoring the "one for all". Good thing I'm not an alchemist, otherwise I'd have failed. I wonder when I became this selfish. Meh... it was probably an inbuilt thing from the beginning. Which does a decent job of explaining why I end up doing shit for other people all the time. Probably a twisted form of redemption for my inner self? I don't know... not a psych type person.

Well... one thing is quite clear for me. I really need to gain motivation for something. I can't say what it is since it isn't clear to me, but unless some sort of motivation comes into my life I don't think I'm going to be "moving forward". Too bad I'm not the type that gets easily motivated into anything...

This far into my post I realized one thing. I've said much more than I wanted to. My surroundings are probably starting to affect me in some ways. That might explain the content that goes down in this blog that no one reads (still the going assumption and will be the going assumption for the longest time for the following reasons: I have about 1 and a half friends and I don't tell anyone that this exists). But yeah... I'm going to end this here before I start saying more I don't really want to.

P.S. Go listen to Auron's theme from FFX. If you don't like it we probably can't communicate on the same wavelength so... you should probably tell me about that and then we need to resolve it somehow.